Last night I lay in bed after being resting in His presence and being fed by my team. I thought about how we´re becoming a culture of honor here in Peru and how God had been blessing both myself and the team through a quickening process of grace. I thought about Jesus and what His life looked like…and then a thought hit me. He chose to let His disciples pour into Him.
Jesus, after 30 years of living, decided to reach the world through a group of disciples. There were more than 12 that accompanied Him and not all that were called became part of the 12. Likewise, there were some men that were with Him the entirity of those three years. Even more astounding for the times was the fact that there were a number of women that were with Him primarily the whole time. In fact, it was these females (including wives of other men) who not only followed, but also put up the money for much of it…check it out. Regardless, Jesus walked one day at a time with a group of smelly young men and women through their garbage and into the light that was put inside of them.
I don´t know how many times they argued about Judas stealing money or that John always seemed to be one of the favorites…I don´t know if any felt neglected from the rest of the crew. I don´t know which of them were ¨¨structure people¨ who had to fight through the fact that their teacher didn´t seem to have much of an idea of what tomorrow looked like. They didn´t always know where they would sleep or if they´d have food the next day. Plans often changed and crowds always followed. Likewise, the scrutiny they must have felt for following somoeone so controversial while still having such a narrow persctive of Him must have been crazy. They left families, jobs, security to be stuck in a rut of continual brokeness, lack of understanding and a community of guys they didn´t choose.
God decided to make them His disciples and this is the process which He chose. He didn´t just need 3 years to educate them with all the facts, figures and sermon illustrations to influence enough people to make it stick. He didn´t just teach them a formula for casting out demons or healing the sick. He didn´t have tryouts and He didn´t wait to empower them until they understood everything about what they were doing. He didn´t have a backup plan and He wasn´t just interested in efficient, well organized positive events to change people´s behaviors.
He was after their hearts.
He chose to cultivate a culture of honor.
of love.
of forgiveness.
of intimacy.
He chose to teach these world changers how to journey instead of giving them the knowledge of what the journey is. Instead of teaching them the parameters, He taught them how to live beyond them. He decided to be the example of truth and justice, love and mercy, grace and peace.
All of this I knew…but last night I had a thought.
The only way He could cultivate a culture that would be both good at receiving as well as giving is if He Himself could both receive and give well. We all know that He would get up in the early mornings (technically middle of the night) to get alone with His father. He received from Him and lived off of those words. God was the one who filled and encouraged Him. I knew that. However, I never really stopped to consider how valuable it was for Jesus to be intentional about being poured into by His disciples.
How can they know how to receive well without seeing how He received? Jesus was human and needed encouragement, affirmation and a person to vent to from time to time. Don´t believe me? Check out the passage in the gospels where He came into town and checked out the temple. It wasn´t until the next morning that He came in with a cord and an anger to set His father´s house straight. That anger was Godly but also showed His humaness. He felt things. Probably more deeply than I can understand…or can I? You see, He needed to let them be intimate with Him from both sides of the coin in order to empower them and teach them how to walk while He was gone. He did it out of love.
At the end of the three years, the disciples still didn´t get it. Jesus was still mostly understood by everyone closest to Him. It seems as though it´s been that way for eternity…yet, He gave us His Spirit who´s been opening eyes and ears to reveal to us who He really was…The disciples still had to go through their crap and had situations come that they weren´t prepared for. They didn´t carry a formula or set of knowledge to get them through. All they knew to do was to continue walking as Jesus did and rest on the intimacy of the Spirit to lead them through.
The disciples knew that you could only give what you have first received. They freely recieved and freely gave and the world has never been the same…but how did they learn? By watching Jesus receive from God and receive from them…What an honor to be able to pour into Jesus through some undoubtedly perilous times…
What an honor that we have to also pour into Him now…
He´s still alive.
He still loves us.
He still loves it when we tell Him what He means to us and who He is and thank Him for what He´s done and is doing…
I´d think that any of you who has a lover or desires to would want this in your relationship…It´s only healthy.
Yet somehow often neglected…
Last night God poured into me and let me pour a bit back into Him…but He initiated the process by getting my heart to a place to receive from the hearts of those I came to serve.